THINGS TO BEAR IN MIND AS A NEW ACADEMIC YEAR BEGINS!

Gordon Johnson, University Politics: F. M. Cornford's Cambridge and His Advice to the Young Academic Politician containing the complete text of Cornford's 'Microcosmographia Academica' (Cambridge: Cambridge U. Press, 1994) (From F. M. Cornford's 'Microcosmographia Academica': "A Conservative Liberal is a broad-minded man, who thinks that something ought to be done, only not anything that anyone now desires, but something which was not done in 1881-82." "A Liberal Conservative is a broad-minded man, who thinks that something ought to be done, only not anything that anyone now desires; and that most things which were done in 1881-82 ought to be undone." The men of both these parties are alike in being open to conviction; but so many convictions have already got inside, that it is very difficult to find the opening. They swell in the Valley of Indecision." Id. at 95. "There is only one argument for doing something; the rest are arguments for doing nothing." "The argument for doing something is that it is the right thing to do. But then, of course, comes the difficulty of making sure that it is right." "Even a little knowledge of ethical theory will suffice to convince you that all important questions are so complicated, and the results of any course of action are so difficult to foresee, that certainty, or even probability, is seldom, if ever, attainable. It follows at once that the only justifiable attitude of mind is suspense of judgment; and this attitude, besides being peculiarly congenial to the academic temperament, has the advantage of being comparatively easy to attain. There remains the duty of persuading others to be equally judicious, and to refrain from plunging into reckless courses which might lead them Heaven now whither. At this point the arguments for doing nothing come in; for it is a mere theorist's paradox that doing nothing has just as many consequences as doing something. It is obvious that inaction can have no consequences at all." Id. at 104. "The Principle of the Wedge is that you should not act justly for fear of raising expectations that you may act still more justly in the future--expectations which you are afraid you will not have the courage to satisfy. A little reflection will make it evident that the Wedge argument implies admission that the persons who use it cannot prove that the action is not just. If they could, that would be the sole and sufficient reason for not doing it, and this argument would be superfluous." Id. at 105. "The Principle of the Dangerous Precedent is that you should not do an admittedly right action for fear you, or your equally timid successors, should not have the courage to do right in some future case, which, ex hypothesi, is essentially different, but superficially resembles the present one. Every public action, which is not customary, either is wrong, or, if it is right, is a dangerous precedent. It follows that nothing should ever be done for the first time. [] If this consideration is not decisive, it may be reinforced by the Fair Trial Argument--'Give the present system a Fair Trial.' [] Another argument is that 'the Time is not Ripe.' The Principle of Unripe Time is that people should not do at the present moment what they think right at that moment, because the moment at which they think it right has not yet arrived. But the unripeness of the time will, in some cases, be found to lie in the Bugbear, 'What Dr.------ will say,' Time, by the way, is like the medlar: it has a trick of going rotten before it is is ripe." Id. at 105. Conservative Liberal Obstructionist Arguments: "'The present measure would block the way for a far more sweeping reform.' [] This argument may safely be combined with the Wedge argument: 'If we grant this, it will be impossible to stop short.' [] Another argument is that 'the machinery for effecting the proposed objects already exists.' This should be urged in cases where the existing machinery has never worked, and is now so rusty that there is no chance of it being set in motion. When this is ascertained, it is safe to add 'it is fr better that all reform should come within'; and to throw in a reference to the Principle of Washing Linen. This principle is that it is better never to wash your linen if you cannot do it without anyone knowing that you are so cleanly. [] The third accepted means of obstruction is the Alternative Proposal. This is a form of Red Herring. As soon as three or more alternatives are in the field, there is pretty sure to be a majority against any one of them, and nothing will be done." Id. at 106. Liberal Conservative Obstructionist Arguments: "Liberal Conservative Obstruction is less argumentative and leans to invective, It is particularly fond of the last Ditch and the Wild Cat. [] The Last Ditch is the Safe Side, considered as a place which you may safely threaten to die in. You are not likely to die there prematurely; for, to judge by the look of the inhabitants, the climate of the Safe Side conduces to longevity. If you did die, nobody would much mind; but the threat may frighten the for a moment. [] 'Wild Cat' an epithet applicable to persons who bring forward a scheme unanimously agreed upon by experts after a two years' exhaustive consideration of thirty-five or more alternative proposals. In its wider use it applies to all idea which were not familiar in 1881. [] The Argument, 'that you remember exactly the same proposal being rejected in 1867,' is a very strong one in itself; but its defect is that it appeals only to those who also remember the year 1867 with affectionate interest, and, moreover, are unaware that any change has occurred since then. There are such people, but they are lamentably few; and some even of them are no longer Young Men in a Hurry, and can be trusted to be on the Safe Side in any case. So this argument seldom carries its proper weight. [] When other methods of obstruction fail, you should have recourse to Wasting Time; for, although it is recognized in academic circles that time in general is of no value, considerable importance is attached to tea-time. and by deferring this, you may exasperate any body of men to the point of voting against anything. The simplest method is Boring. talk slowly and indistinctly, at a little distance from the point, No academic person is ever vote into the chair until he has reached an age which he has forgotten the meaning of the world 'irrelevant'; and you will be allowed to go on, until everyone is the room will vote with you sooner than hear your voice another minute. Then you should move for adjournment. Motions for adjournment, made less than fifteen minute before tea-time or any subsequent moment, are always carried." Id. at 107. Tomorrow, as I sit all day in a law "faculty retreat" I will will amuse myself by keeping a scorecard as to who engages in the moves, tactics and arguments, etc., which Cornford has so aptly described. It would be more entertaining were the faculty comprised of a few 'Young men in a Hurry': "A Young Man in a Hurry is a narrow-minded and ridiculously youthful prig, who is inexperienced enough to imagine that something might be done before very long, and even to suggest definite things. His most dangerous defect being want of experience, everything should be done to prevent him from taking any part in affairs. He may be known by his propensity to organise societies for the purpose of making silk purses out of sows' ears. This tendency is not so dangerous as it might seem; for it may be observed that the sows, after taking their washing with a grunt or two, trundle back unharmed to the wallow; and the purse-market is quoted as firm. The Young Man in a Hurry is afflicted with a conscience, which is apt to break out, like the measles, in patches. To listen to him, you would think he united the virtues of a Brutus to the passion for lost causes of a Cato; he has not learnt that most of his causes are lost by letting the Cato out of the bag, instead of tying him firmly and sitting on him, as experienced people do." Id. at 95-96. On my part, however, I plan to sit quietly with both my eyes and mouth shut tightly!!).