Karen Horney, Final Lectures, edited by Douglas H. Ingram (New York & London: W. W. Norton, 1987).
Karen Horney, Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization (New York: & London: W. W. Norton, 1950, 1970) ("The most pertinent symbol, to my mind, for the neurotic process initiated by the search for glory is the ideational content of the stories of the devil's pact. The devil, or some other personification of evil, tempts a person who is perplexed by spiritual or material trouble with the offer of unlimited powers. But he can obtain these powers only on the condition of selling his soul or going to hell. The temptation can come to anybody, rich or poor in spirit, because it speaks to two powerful desires: the longing for the infinite and the wish for an easy way out. According to religious tradition, the greatest spiritual leaders of mankind, Buddha and Christ, experienced such temptation. But, because they were firmly grounded in themselves, they recognized it as a temptation and could reject it. Moreover, the conditions stipulated in the pact are an appropriate representation of the price to be paid in the neurotic's development. Speaking in these symbolic terms, the easy way to infinite glory is inevitably also the way to an inner hell of self-contempt and self-torment. By taking this road, the individual is in fact losing his soul--his real self." Id. at 39. Neurotic Pride: "With all his strenuous efforts toward perfection and with all his belief in perfection attained, the neurotic does not gain what he most desperately needs: self-confidence and self-respect. Even though godlike in his imagination, he still lacks the earthy self-confidence of a simple shepherd. The great positions to which he may rise, the fame he may acquire, will render him arrogant but will not bring him inner security. He still feels at bottom unwanted, is easily hurt, and needs incessant conformation of his value. He may feel strong and significant as long as he wields power and influence and is supported by praise and deference. But all of these feelings of elation collapse easily when, in a strange environment, this support is lacking; when he incurs failure; or when he is by himself. The kingdom of heaven does not come through external gestures." Id. at 86. "[T]he neurotic development, initiated by the early unfavorable constellation, weakens him at the core of his being. He becomes alienated from himself and divided. His self-idealization is an attempt to remedy the damage done by lifting himself in his mind above the crude reality of himself and others. And, as in the stories of the devil's pact, he gets all the glory in imagination and sometimes in reality. But instead of solid self-confidence he gets a glittering gift of most questionable values: neurotic pride." Id. at 87. "This book began with a vigorous emphasis on the importance of the real self. The real self . . . is the alive, unique, personal center of ourselves; the only part that can, and wants to, grow. We saw that unfortunate conditions prevent its unimpeded growth from the very beginning." Id. at at 155. "In terms of the devil's pact, the abandoning of self corresponds to the selling of one's soul. In psychiatric terms we call it the 'alienation from self.' This latter term is applied chiefly to those extreme conditions in which people lose their feeling of identity, as in amnesia and depersonalization, etc. . . . It is strange and even startling that a person who is not asleep and has no organic brain disease does not know who he is, where he is, or what he does or had been doing." Id. at 155-156. "To put it succinctly: neurotic pride is the enemy of love." Id. at 246. "[T]he pride system removes the neurotic from others by making him egocentric. To avoid misunderstandings: by egocentricity I do not mean selfishness or egotism in the sense of considering merely one's own advantage. The neurotic maybe callously selfish or too unselfish. . . . But he is always egocentric in the sense of being wrapped up in himself. . . . [H]e lives in any case by his private religion (his idealized image), abides by his own laws (his shoulds), within the barbed-wire fence of his own pride and with his own guards to protect him against dangers from within and without. As a result he not only becomes more isolated emotionally but it also becomes more difficult for him to see other people as individuals in their own right, different from himself. They are subordinated to his prime concern: himself." Id. at 291-292.).
Karen Horney, The Neurotic Personality of Our Time, (New York: & London: W. W. Norton, 1937) ("The craving for affection is so frequent in neuroses, and so easily recognizable by the trained observer, that it may be considered one of the surest indicators for an existing anxiety and its approximate intensity. In fact if one feels fundamentally helpless toward a world which is invariably menacing and hostile, then the search for affection would appear to be the most logical and direct way of reaching out for any kind of benevolence, help or appreciation." "If the psychic conditions of the neurotic person were what they frequently appear to himself to be, it ought to be easy for him to gain affection. If I may verbalize what he often senses only dimly, his impressions are something like this: what he wants is so little, only that people should be kind to him, should give him advice, should appreciate that he is a poor, harmless, lonely soul, anxious to please, anxious not to hurt anyone's feelings. That is all he sees or feels. He does not recognize how much his sensitivities, his latent hostilities, his exacting demands interfere with his own relationships; nor is he able to judge the impression he makes on others or their reaction to him. Consequently he is at a loss to understand why his friendships, marriages, love affairs, professional relations are so often dissatisfactory. He tends to conclude that the others are at fault, that they are inconsiderate, disloyal, abusive, or that for some unfathomable reason he lacks the gift of being popular. Thus he keeps chasing the phantom of love." Id. at 105-106. "Modern culture is economically based on the principle of individual competition. The isolated individual has to fight with other individuals of the same group, has to surpass them and, frequently thrust them aside. The advantage of the one is frequently the disadvantage of the other. The psychic result of this situation is a diffuse hostile tension between individuals. Everyone is the real or potential competitor of everyone else. This situation is clearly apparent among members of the same occupational group, regardless of strivings to be fair or of attempts to camouflage by polite considerations. . . . " "The potential hostile tension between individuals results in a constant generation of fear--fear of the potential hostility of others, reinforced by a fear of retaliation for hostilities of one's own. Another important source of fear in the normal individual is the prospect of failure. The fear of failure is a realistic one because, in general, the chances of failing are much greater than those of succeeding, and because failures in a competitive society entail a realistic frustration of needs. They mean not only economic insecurity, but also loss of prestige and all kinds of emotional frustration." Id. at 284-285.).
Karen Horney, New Ways in Psychoanalysis (New York & London: W. W. Norton, 1939, 1966) ("If narcissism is considered not genetically but with reference to its actual meaning is should, in my judgment, be described as essentially self-inflation. Psychic inflation, like economic inflation, means presenting greater value than really exist. It means that the person loves and admires himself for values for which there is no adequate foundation. Similarly, it means that he expects love and admiration from others for qualities that he does not possess, or does not possess to as large an extent as he supposes. According to my definition, it is not narcissistic for a person to value a quality in himself which he actually possesses, or to like it to be valued by others. These two tendencies--appearing unduly significant to oneself and craving undue admiration from others--cannot be separated. Both are always present though in different types one or the other may prevail." ". . .The factor which contributes most fundamentally to the development of narcissistic trends appears to be the child's alienation from others, provoked by grievances and fears. His positive emotional ties with others become thin; he loses the capacity to love." "The same unfavorable environment produces disturbances in his feeling for self. In the more severe cases these mean more than a mere impairment of self-esteem; they bring about a complete suppression of the spontaneous individual self. . . ." "What does an individual gain by self-aggrandizement?" "He escapes the painful feeling on nothingness by molding himself in fancy into something outstanding. . . . The more he is alienated, not only from others but also form himself, the more easily such motions acquire a psychic reality. Not that he discards reality because of them--as the psychotic does--but reality takes on a provisional character, as life does for a Christian who expects his real life to begin in heaven. His notions of himself become a substitute for his undermined self-esteem; they become his 'real' me." "By creating a fantasy world of his own in which he is the hero he also consoles himself for not being loved and appreciated. He may feel that though others reject him, look down on him, do not love him for what he really is, it is because he is too far above their understanding. My personal impression is that the illusions do far more than give secret substitute satisfactions. I often wonder whether they do not save the individual from being crushed entirely and thus whether they are not literally life-saving." "Finally, self-inflation represents an attempt to put relationships to others on a positive basis. If others do not love and respect the individual for what he is they should at least pay attention to him and admire him. The obtainment of admiration is substituted for love--a consequential step. From then on he feels unwanted if he is not admired. He loses any understanding of the fact that friendliness and love can include an objective or even critical attitude. What falls short of blind adoration is to him no longer love; he will even suspect it of being hostility. He will judge others according to the admiration or flattery he receives from them. People who admire him are good and superior, people who do not are not worth bothering with. Thus his main gratification lies in being admired, but also his security rests on it, because it gives him the illusion that he is strong and that the world around him is friendly. It is a security on a rickety basis, however, any failure may bring to the surface all the underlying insecurity. In fact, not even a failure is needed to elicit this effect; admiration paid to someone else may be sufficient to bring it about. Id. at 91-94.).
Karen Horney, New Ways in Psychoanalysis (New York & London: W. W. Norton, 1939, 1966) ("If narcissism is considered not genetically but with reference to its actual meaning is should, in my judgment, be described as essentially self-inflation. Psychic inflation, like economic inflation, means presenting greater value than really exist. It means that the person loves and admires himself for values for which there is no adequate foundation. Similarly, it means that he expects love and admiration from others for qualities that he does not possess, or does not possess to as large an extent as he supposes. According to my definition, it is not narcissistic for a person to value a quality in himself which he actually possesses, or to like it to be valued by others. These two tendencies--appearing unduly significant to oneself and craving undue admiration from others--cannot be separated. Both are always present though in different types one or the other may prevail." ". . .The factor which contributes most fundamentally to the development of narcissistic trends appears to be the child's alienation from others, provoked by grievances and fears. His positive emotional ties with others become thin; he loses the capacity to love." "The same unfavorable environment produces disturbances in his feeling for self. In the more severe cases these mean more than a mere impairment of self-esteem; they bring about a complete suppression of the spontaneous individual self. . . ." "What does an individual gain by self-aggrandizement?" "He escapes the painful feeling on nothingness by molding himself in fancy into something outstanding. . . . The more he is alienated, not only from others but also form himself, the more easily such motions acquire a psychic reality. Not that he discards reality because of them--as the psychotic does--but reality takes on a provisional character, as life does for a Christian who expects his real life to begin in heaven. His notions of himself become a substitute for his undermined self-esteem; they become his 'real' me." "By creating a fantasy world of his own in which he is the hero he also consoles himself for not being loved and appreciated. He may feel that though others reject him, look down on him, do not love him for what he really is, it is because he is too far above their understanding. My personal impression is that the illusions do far more than give secret substitute satisfactions. I often wonder whether they do not save the individual from being crushed entirely and thus whether they are not literally life-saving." "Finally, self-inflation represents an attempt to put relationships to others on a positive basis. If others do not love and respect the individual for what he is they should at least pay attention to him and admire him. The obtainment of admiration is substituted for love--a consequential step. From then on he feels unwanted if he is not admired. He loses any understanding of the fact that friendliness and love can include an objective or even critical attitude. What falls short of blind adoration is to him no longer love; he will even suspect it of being hostility. He will judge others according to the admiration or flattery he receives from them. People who admire him are good and superior, people who do not are not worth bothering with. Thus his main gratification lies in being admired, but also his security rests on it, because it gives him the illusion that he is strong and that the world around him is friendly. It is a security on a rickety basis, however, any failure may bring to the surface all the underlying insecurity. In fact, not even a failure is needed to elicit this effect; admiration paid to someone else may be sufficient to bring it about. Id. at 91-94.).
Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts: A Constructive Theory of Neurosis (New York: & London: W. W. Norton, 1945, 1966) ("Sexual intercourse as such--aside from its biological function--has the value of constituting proof of being wanted. The more the compliant type tends to be detached--that is, afraid of being emotionally involved--or the more he despairs of being loved, the more will mere sexuality be likely to substitute for love. It will then appear as the only road to human intimacy, and be overrated as love is, for its power to solve everything." Id. at 61. "The more the emotions are checked, the more likely it is that emphasis will be placed upon intelligence. The expectation then will be that everything can be solved by sheer power of reasoning, as if mere knowledge of one's own problems would be sufficient to cure them. Or as if reasoning alone could cure all the troubles of the world!" Id. at 85. "Rationalization may be defined as self-deception by reasoning." Id. at 135. "The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving for wholeheartedness: to be without pretense, to be emotionally sincere, to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's feelings, one's work, one's beliefs. It can be approximated only to the extent that conflicts are resolved." "These goals are not arbitrary, nor are they valid goals of therapy simply because they coincide with the ideals that wise persons of all times have followed. But the coincidence is not accidental, for these are the elements upon which psychic health rests. We are justified in postulating these goals because they follow logically from a knowledge of the pathogenic factors in neurosis." Id. at 242.).
Karen Horney, Self-Analysis (New York: & London: W. W. Norton, 1942, 1968) ("But even if we grant that a considerable number of people can profitably analyze themselves, will they ever complete the work? Will there not always be problems left that are not solved or not even touched upon? My answer is that there is no such thing as a complete analysis. And this answer is not given in a spirit of resignation. Certainly the greater the degree of transparency and the more freedom we can attain, the better for us. But the idea of a finished human product not only appears presumptuous but even, in my opinion, lacks any strong appeal. Life is struggle and striving, development and growth--and analysis is one of the means that can help in this process. Certainly its positive accomplishments are important, but also the striving itself is of intrinsic value. As Goethe has said in Faust: 'Whoe'er aspires unweariedly, / Is not beyond redeeming.' " Id. at 275-275 (italics and emphasis added).).
Karen Horney, The Unknown Karen Horney: Essays on Gender, Culture, and Psychoanalysis, edited with and Introduction by Bernard J. Paris (New Haven & London: Yale U. Press, 2000) ("SEX AS A THING APART[:] When a person loses touch with his own identity, he is no longer aware of his real feelings and desires, which become distorted or repressed. He engages in pretenses and becomes emotionally insincere. Sex becomes impersonal and degraded because he engages in it without really being there." "The process of self-idealization is part of a vicious circle that degrades sex even further. . . . " "A conflict arises here because even though the neurotic regards sexual activity as a form of degradation, he also overvalues it as a means of proving his lovability because he beats himself down, he feels that no one can love him, but . . . he has an overwhelming need for love and human contact. He feels that even though he is unlovable as a person, maybe another will love him for sex, which is all he has to offer. So sexual attractiveness is a substitute for being lovable, and the sexual partner provides the human contact the neurotic craves so desperately." Id. at 156. ).
Karen Horney, The Unknown Karen Horney: Essays on Gender, Culture, and Psychoanalysis, edited with and Introduction by Bernard J. Paris (New Haven & London: Yale U. Press, 2000) ("SEX AS A THING APART[:] When a person loses touch with his own identity, he is no longer aware of his real feelings and desires, which become distorted or repressed. He engages in pretenses and becomes emotionally insincere. Sex becomes impersonal and degraded because he engages in it without really being there." "The process of self-idealization is part of a vicious circle that degrades sex even further. . . . " "A conflict arises here because even though the neurotic regards sexual activity as a form of degradation, he also overvalues it as a means of proving his lovability because he beats himself down, he feels that no one can love him, but . . . he has an overwhelming need for love and human contact. He feels that even though he is unlovable as a person, maybe another will love him for sex, which is all he has to offer. So sexual attractiveness is a substitute for being lovable, and the sexual partner provides the human contact the neurotic craves so desperately." Id. at 156. ).
