This evening I went to my 300th yoga practice at the studio. This third set of 100-practices is a turning point, I think.
My first set of 100-practices was mainly about giving yoga a serious try. I thought 100 classes would provide sufficient information for me to make an informed decision as to whether yoga was something worth doing, and something I could, in fact, do. I knew the physical challenges of the first 100 classes would be screaming at me to quit. So, I had to set a lengthy goal and stick to it no matter what.
My second set of 100-practices was motivated primarily by fear. I thought were I to miss a even a day of going to the studio I might never return. There was not a single day that I did not have to force myself to go to practice. I had to play all sorts of mind games with myself to make sure I got myself out the door to go to practice. Some people thought that my being one of the first to arrive at class, and my going everyday--sometimes three or four times in a day--, indicated my commitment to doing yoga. I knew it was a fear of not being committed to doing yoga. On the positive side, I was also beginning to notice the changes in my body and mental state.
The third set of 100-practices began pretty much as an extension of the second 100-practices set. However, it morphed into yoga being an integral part of my life. (And, as integral part of my life, I actually missed a could of days of going to the studio without my life collapsing. Irony!) I no longer had to force myself to go to practice, practice was simply part of me. The physical challenges of the asanas continued, and always will. However, the third 100-practices set presented the challenge of being truly present in yoga practice. Being present in yoga practice entailed going inside and seeing my demons. Not a pretty sight.
As I move into my fourth 100-practices set, I no longer feel the urgency of keeping track of the number of practices I go to in a day, in a week, in a month, or keeping track of how quickly I can accomplish another 100 practices, or, for that matter, measuring time in 100-practices sets. Though I may continue to do the latter as a means of making sure that from, time to time, I consciously stop and take inventory of myself: where I am now, how have I grown (or not), etc. The main challenge from here on out is to confront my personal demons that my yoga practice has help me see. I say "confront my demons"; I do not say "defeat my demon." My demons are part of who I am. This is the challenge of "clearing my mind," and "knowing my own inner distinctive nature."
"Yoga is a disciplinary art which develops the faculties of the body, mind and intellect. Its purpose is to refine man. It is a commitment to a life's pattern and a way towards right living. In my case it led me to explore and observe the hidden, unknown, parts of my body and the movements of my mind, Slowly and surely it helped me to emerge with a clean body and a clear mind and to blossom into a rich, pure and creative personality. It helped me attain the high purpose in life of exploring the self while living as a householder with a wife and children and performing my wider role in the world. In this decisive pattern of living I found a certain essence and fragrance springing within me. The essence is the art of knowing my own inner distinctive nature, and that fragrance, the state of my being. Hence, yoga is the culmination of art for me." B.K.S. Iyengar, The Art of Yoga, with a foreword by Yehudi Menuhin (New Delhi: HarperCollins Publishers India, 1993), at xiii-xiv.
