Eugen Herrigel, The Method of Zen, edited by Hermann Tausend, and translated from the German by R. F. C. Hull (New York: Vintage Books, 1960, 1974) ("It goes without saying that a disciple of the Buddha may not hate, and in the end cannot hate. Equally, he may not love in the ordinary sense of the word, and in the end cannot do so. Yet he does not become unfeeling and indifferent. He lets everything and everybody have a share in his rich capacity for loving, without counting on any love in return. He loves impartially, selflessly, as though only for the sake of loving. And this not because it gives him person pleasure or satisfies a personal desire, but because he must do so out of abounding love. This love, if one can call it that, since it is incapable of changing into hate, is beyond both. It is not like a leaping flame that may subside at any moment; it is like a calm radiance that perpetuates itself. This love, which can neither be disappointed nor encouraged from without, in which goodness, compassion, and gratitude are mingled, which does not woo, does not obtrude itself, make demands, disquieten, or persecute, which does not give in order to take, possesses an astounding power, precisely because it shuns all power. It is gentle, mild, and in the long run irresistible. Even so-called inert things open themselves to it, and animals, otherwise shy and distrustful, trust it." Id. at 94-95.).
I do wonder, seriously wonder, whether I have the capacity to love. Or, perhaps it is just an incapacity for romantic love. All the times I thought I loved someone, thought I was 'in love,' were, I think, mainly my role playing. Society, culture, literature, films, etc., inform us what love is suppose to look like, how one is supposed to act when one is in love. So, I, being a good student, engaged in the outward behavior. My mind was there, but where was my heart? Hate--the withholding of love--I am quite capable. But love? If one cannot love some one individual with whom one has actual contact, can one have buddhist love?.
Still, in Buddhism, there seems to be hope for even this heartless soul.
Donald S. Lopez, Jr. The Scientific Buddha: His Short and Happy Life (New Haven & London: Yale U. Press, 2012) ("Anyone destined to buddhahood--and according to some important Mahayana sutras, all beings are destined to buddhahood--must develop compassion. Research on the psychopathic personality suggests that empathy is genetic. Yet, the Buddhist claim is that empathy, and compassion, can be developed by anyone, and eventually will be developed by everyone. The Buddhist traditions do not assume that compassion is a natural endowment, a personality trait possessed by some and lacked by others. Compassion is a state of mind that can, and must, be cultivated. Far from seeking to quiet habitual thoughts, the bodhisattva is obsessed by one. It is the thought, 'I will liberate all beings in the universe from suffering.' It must be the first thought in the morning and the last thought at night; it must be the thought that motivates and all actions. And techniques are provided for producing this habitual thought." Id. at 129. From the bookjacket: "This book tells the story of the Scientific Buddha, 'born' in Europe in the 1800s but commonly confused with the Buddha born in Indian 2,500 years ago. The Scientific Buddha was sent into battle against Christian missionaries, who were proclaiming across Asia that Buddhism was a form of superstition. He proved the missionaries wrong, teaching a dharma that was in harmony with modern science. Today his teaching of 'mindfulness' is heralded as the cure for all manner of maladies, from depression to high blood pressure." "In this potent critique, a well-known chronicler of the West's encounter with Buddhism demonstrates how the Scientific Buddha's teachings deviate in crucial ways from those of the far older Buddha of ancient India. Donald Lopez shows that the Western focus on the Scientific Buddha threatens to bleach Buddhism of its vibrancy, complexity, and power, even as the superficial focus on 'mindfulness' turns Buddhism into merely the latest self-help movement. The Scientific Buddha has served his purpose, Lopez argues. It is now time for him to pass into nirvana.").
